Why "maturing", you ask? Read on if you are keen, skip if you feel I'm too long winded, you know I am.. but you don't know what you're missing. =)
First, in my short 27yrs of life, "Doing My BEST" have been the center of my universe where my Sun revolves. Since how long? Since the first time I saw the world.
I've been competitive since I started knowing things, but I lived in a sheltered life. My parents were so protective of me that I wasn't given a chance to try and Be competitive at all.
I've never had friends that were competitive, that kind of made things worst. I don't like to lose but I don't have anyone to win, let alone lose to. It was such an ironic situation that even till now I couldn't really understand the complexity of that vicious cycle.
As I was about to get to know my true self in study, I was kind of a "work my ass off to get what I want" kind of person if you look at my report book but I easily get distracted. Because my dad and mum thinks I'm working too hard and getting too many Band 1 and Distinctions so they introduced me to gaming. Like real, but it did happen, so it is real and unfortunate.
Luckily I regained that edge when I knew Gwen in Poly. I remember I cried when I lost to her by 2 marks in a Calculus TEST. She got 100, I got 98.
In basketball, a game where I picked up since 16, I've made many true friends and many enemies because of my "I'M GONNA KILL YOU TO HELP MY TEAM WIN" way of playing defence.. Again, I found myself there, if you've seen me play in a match seriously, you probably won't come over and say "Hi Coach KK.". Every game I play in turns up in intensity because I don't like to play for fun and I just unknowingly boost the "WIN OR DIE" feel in them.
In NS, there's 40 people in a platoon/squad, I only have 1 friend, that is myself and 39 other enemies. If I don't win them, I brood, I work harder and I challenge them in the face telling them things like "I WILL SWIM FASTER THAN YOU, MR PANG.".. I did not manage to even pick up freestyle during that period of time, and I was UPSET that I didn't even get my breast stroke sorted out, let alone win him. But I worked hard and swam 88 laps with my just-can't-farking-move kind of breast stroke in the attempt to get better.
I have to win in every single 2.4km run. The only person I'd lose to is the best runner in the squad. I fucking hate to be 2nd but I'd rather die than to be 3rd. I'd run 10km every free night I have, I'd do 2.4km run at 95% effort on the night before IPPT and tell my Sir I am doing it easy to prepare for tomorrow. I HATE LOSING.
In every relationship I have, I'd give my best. EVERYTHING. So much so that everyone of them left me because I gave too much without knowing what they want. I just give what ME want to give, not what they need or want..
It was Horrible to say the least...
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So, from all the above, you can already tell my definition of doing my best = JUST GIVING MY EVERYTHING.
Is there a limit? Probably somewhere in the hemisphere.
Often in my mind I'll ask "Am I giving enough?".. There was never "Is this too much?".
Often, the question is "Is this good enough?".. There was never "What exactly am I working on?".
JUST DO. JUST FREAKING DO IT AND DO YOUR BEST THEN THINK LATER.
That kind of just implode in me and made me the person I am today, both successful and failing in many many aspects of my life. Coach KK is an image of me that is a self-motivated and rationale, knowledgeable and self contained person..
But that is only half as true. There are so many things in life that I could have done better.. not because I've not given my everything but its because I have no idea what I'm actually working on before I started doing.
I'm not gonna give a life lesson here but relate to life in anyway you want.. I'm sure it'll make sense. The thing I'm gonna touch on here is about training and racing.
Doing your best does equate giving your everything. But in order to do our best, the pre-requisite is to KNOW what exactly we're working on and the purpose of doing them.
For example, in a swim training, I set the following as training program:
Warmup:
SKPKS x 100 each (Easy, raise HR)
Pre-set:
4x100 build (getting ready for main set of speed work)
Rest 3 mins
Main set:
20x50 Hard on 1:00
Rest 5mins
Cool down:
300m easy mixed strokes
What does doing your best mean in this training session then?
If it was me 6 yrs back (with the swim skill i have now), I'd tell you:
"That's so easy, I'd go hard from the first metre to the last.. I'D SKIP ALL THE REST TOO! Else, I won't feel the kick in the workout at all.".
Right now, I'd tell you:
The rest times CANNOT BE SKIPPED. Without the rest times, your body are just not fresh to perform perfect technique. Every stroke is a practice. If you screw up technique for hard swim then you might as well don't swim because you will NEVER improve.
Warmup you better do it easy and gradually build up the heart rate. When you go too hard at the warmup (from non workout state to hard workout state), lactate and oxygen debt will build up quickly and take a very long time to go down. If that happens, the rest of the workout will be screwed.
Pre-set is to get your body ready for the intensity of the main set and is highly relevant to whatever is to be done later. If its a high technique focus main set then the pre-set will be something to kick start your focus like a fist drill swim. In this case, I'd say better start very easy from the first 100 then build to flat out in the last and 4th 100m to shake the body up and get ready for pacing.
Main set here is 20x50 hard. It's pretty straight forward here. The whole idea is to go very hard and get more rest. However, swim is a skill base sport that is so affected by drag factor. Your BEST here will not equate to swimming every 50 til you're completely breathless and fainting. Your BEST here WILL MEAN to do every 50m as hard as YOUR PERFECT TECHNIQUE allow.
Cool down is named "COOL DOWN" for a purpose. Take it easy and slow down the heart rate slowly by doing easy swim. Your BEST here is to make the swim AS EASY AS POSSIBLE so you get ready for a good rest and recovery. Without recovery, your training is just potential for falling sick.
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In a racing situation, doing your best will mean to savour every single second of the race. If it means you have to draft somebody to take it easy for a minute before making that last burst to lead the pack then let go of the lead and do the draft first. If it means slowing down to a walk to relieve that cramp before risking to tear something then WALK.
Often, we, especially MEN, are so taken over by our own pride and ego that we can't see the balance between rate of exertion and the technical aspect of everything we do in life.
We were so often overwhelmed by the need to give our best in a competitive environment and with a competitive heart, we forgot what is the reason and rationale behind doing some things.
For example, what's the point of being able to Fly 80kg, bench press 150kg and Bicep curl 50kg if you can't lift a damn TV off the floor with ease and walk up 10flights of stairs when the lift breaks down?
Or another example, what's the point of going so hard in your warm up and pre set when you totally exhaust yourself and then could only force yourself to give half effort in the hard effort main set?
To become successful, at least in sports, we have to have the patience to know the reason behind doing all things and performing the purpose of the training to the best that we can possibly achieve. Only then can we see the returns of the training.
With that, I'd rest my case and I'd rest my bod. And yes, I can rest with ease because with the above realization in mind, I have seen so much improvement over the past 6 weeks for my swim. I hope they benefit you too.
Cheers
KK
ps - Thank you Pang and Gwen for guest "appearance". :P
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